What type of Church Member are YOU?

Since I am on churches I feel that it is important to look at the MEMBER of a church. After all it is the members of the church that make or break the church. From my experiences these are the most common types of members. The older more mature grandmother and grandfather types, the mature sit and complain about everything ones, the mid aged go get ems as well as the mid age sit and watch what goes on type. Your choir members who can maybe sing, with the ones that believe they are the all get out best singer in the world (when they are not), and the ones who can really sing but do not want to bring attention to themselves or are not utilized by the director because they are not part of the "in" group. To go with the musically inclined you have the few talented piano and organ players with a few drummers and guitar players who add to the service. Now add to this the disappearing young adult and young marrieds, who want to be part of a church but do not really fit in due to various reasons along with the teens that are usually attending because Mom and or Dad are 'making' them go. All the younger ones are the future church or are supposed to be and really do not make up a type that has a large influence other than they are there and show at least a growth part of a church.

I could go over each and every one of the types mentioned but it is not the important part of what I want to cover. Any and all of these can be an integral ingredient or a negative subsidy of any church. I myself am more of a sit and watcher. If something interested me I would try to be part of it, such as weekly Bible Study or men's programs, but I have no interest in being part of the choir. My sitting and watching would consist of seeing all these other types work the pews. The grandparent types would seek out the 'kids' they love dearly and chat away with them. Also they would seek out new people and welcome them all the while observing the visitors to see if they are a fit. You have the ones that are younger who, for various reasons, seek and destroy the newbies. I add destroy because trust me, visitors know if you are sincere in your greeting. Are you doing it because the pastor said you need to go and shake hands and greet all.. be the friendly church.. or are you sincere with your greeting and really are excited to see new people arrive. There are those greeters that are more out to see if you are competition, why I do not know but, that is what they are doing. Of course you have your men at the church door, those greeters welcoming all who enter the hallowed gates of the church, also known as the ushers. The Sunday School/Bible Study teachers are seeking new class members, the teens are looking for friends, or possible the new boyfriend girlfriend prospect, or in other words the competition. The young adults and young marrieds.. oh yes, they are disappearing.

This pretty much is my opinion of the different types and I know it is not all inclusive but there is some accuracy to it. What I would like to cover now is where do you take your friendships and relationships in your church? Once you find a connection do you embrace it and build upon it or do you leave it at the church. I guess what I am asking is are you a cultivator with others that believe as you do? Do your relations go beyond the church doors such as family dinners or outings? Are they all inclusive or are you hesitant to build on anything outside of church for various reasons. I recall several families from my younger years where we had lots of encounters outside of church. We had strong relationships that started at church and continued outside the church. We were never afraid to be who we were all the time because we were not trying to 'impress' anyone. Relationships were cultivated and became pretty strong friendships. I have had a few discussions and with those I have discussed we are not seeing this happen as much anymore unless you are related or have been part of a church for a long long time.

So what type of Church Member are YOU? Is your church growing and thriving or is it stuck in the mud, in a rut, or should I dare say, right where you want it to be? Traditional or Conventional church is does not matter. None of these are really incorrect because people are people and we are all different. It takes all kinds to be part of any group. Growth to me, in a positive manner, would be my way of gauging as to the best way for any group to be. Productive and positive without being isolating even though we all need our personal time and space. 

Random things.

I am in Iowa with my son and his family right now. It has been an awesome time spending lots of time with my Grandson Andy. I have had some great talks with my daughter-in-law Chelsea and I have been able to watch Tim interact with his family. This is what I imagined this trip to be like prior to coming and it has been fantastic to see it develop as it has.

There are many things going on in my head right now and I guess it is pretty hard to see where things are headed. I just know that since I had my stroke I have been trying even harder to connect with others. Your mortality comes into question when health problems effect your life. I have seen myself developing in many different ways and at the age I am it seems pretty difficult for others to adjust to my changes. Relationships have been enhanced and others have slacked. I am trying to look at my life as a whole and seeing where I have come from and where I am headed. In doing so I feel I may be changing in the eyes of those that know me. I would say that it is a reality that the changes are occurring but I feel that I have to make changes to what and who I am. For the longest time I always adjusted my self to those I was around. Being what they wanted me to be. When a person does this they lose sight of who they actually are.

I have found my self hesitating again to say and express my thoughts. It has been a month and a half since I last blogged. It felt so refreshing to let my thoughts be expressed in words. Whether anyone reads this or not it makes no difference as I need to share my thoughts, or at least put them down for me. Self expressing is important for everyone and to have your thoughts and ideas put on a back burner is not healthy. If things bother me I try to let it be known but at what cost. I found myself keeping things in and not sharing because I did not want to cause a rift. What that did was cause a rift inside me. Once that rift happened inside me it had a major effect on and in my relationship with others. You have to be able to express your feelings. If you hold them in it tears at your insides and then you start to lose who and what you are.

Over the past month or so I started to attend church again. Its not that I had not gone to church but to actually want to go, that desire was not in me. It is now and I am glad that I have gone. There are areas in my life that need attended to and I am not able to do them on my own. It seems that I have tried in the past to deal with my spirituality on my own and not let God work on me. Or should I say what I had done was to think that I did not need anyone to help me with my spirituality because I could do it on my own. I lost respect for the people of the "church" because I had been let down so much in the past. This made me not want to look to the "church" for help with my spiritual health. What I am trying to do is allow God to use others to help me but not depend on the persons but to depend on God to show me through others. I could care less if the church music is fantastic. It makes no difference if they have a great youth department or the biggest Sunday school. What I need is to be fed with spiritual food that will help me to be what God would have me to be to others but most of all would have me to be to myself. Gods desire is for me to be who I am not what others want me to be. If I become what God wants for myself then I will be what I should be for others. I need to stop adjusting my life to appease others because that tears myself down. I must become what God sees for me so that I can truly be a tool for him. That is what matters, To live your life as other people want you to makes no sense at all. You are torn apart trying to make adjustments all the time. Living your life as Jesus did, sacrificing your self for others and not being selfish, that is how we should live. It is a "me" world right now and way too many people are concerned with only themselves. Sometimes out of self preservation a person needs to take action for himself but to only do things for yourself is wrong.

I guess I have covered a few random thoughts going through my head. This has been refreshing again.

Seeing a friend from years past.

This past Saturday was a really good day. With all the medical problems that I have endured this past year I had a real good day. What made it so good you ask? Maybe you don't ask but I am going to tell you anyways. Cindy and I went to Auburn, AL and watched the Auburn football homecoming game. But that was not the best part of it. After 30 years I came across the girl, now woman, that I dated my senior year in High School. We had a very good, but short, reunion of sorts, if you want to call it that.

Now before you say anything I should give a little background. First off, when we met and dated we were living in northeastern Ohio. I was a senior and she was a junior and we attended different, RIVAL, schools. We ended our relationship because of me. With me getting ready to go off to college in Tennessee and her staying in Ohio, I wanted or felt the need to expand my horizons. You know, that silly thinking coming from a high school kid. Anyways it was a good breakup, as we did not talk bad about each other nor were we ever negative about our relationship. This past June I received a message from Classmates.com from Cheryl. It was like, WOW, never thought I would ever hear from her again. I replied and we actually starting catching up by way of E-mail. It was really fun to catch up. Anyways while on Facebook I saw that she was going to the Auburn game this past weekend also, she has a daughter in attendance at Auburn. I left her a message on Facebook saying we should get together if at all possible. Phone numbers had already been exchanged so making the meeting happen was a very good possibility.

Cindy and I were walking around and had some time to kill prior to the game so I told Cindy that I was going to give Cheryl a call. It just so happened we were really close to each other at the time of that call. We were walking towards each other, talking on the phone, when we glanced up and saw one another. That was really a cool feeling. As far as I am concerned she has not changed all that much from 30 years ago other than looking like a mature woman. And this is a good mature look. So anyways we all four got together and had a burger. Cheryl and Mike, her husband, with Cindy and I. I want to thank both Mike and Cindy for allowing us to sit and yak at each other for the short time we had. Though we did not get to visit about everything, we were able to see each other. It was very nice. I even was able to give her a great big hug.

So what about seeing someone from your past. Whether it be an old girlfriend, classmate, best friend, or just friend, how you end that friendship the last time you see them means so much for that next time you may come across them. Always being positive, straight forward and honest means that you can look at the person the next time and have a great reunion. At the college reunion there were those there that I did not have great relationships with. When we saw each other we did not even acknowledge each other. Then with those that I had good or great relations with we were able to pick right up where we left off. I guess what I want to say with all this is, If you are in any type of relationship it is important to end that relationship in the best way possible, as you may see them again and you want it to be positive. We all grow up and mature lets make sure our social skills have done the same.

Relationships

Have you ever had that moment when you started to put your thoughts down on one subject and then it develops into something totally different. That is what is going on in my mind right now. Most of us have had those times when you start thinking about all that is going on in your life and you just can not get them straight. That is where I am at right now. I don't want to bore you with every little detail as they can cover many areas, such as, life in general, finances, family, relationships, and health. These pretty much cover all the things that go through every persons thought processes every day. Yes, I know that I have left out a few but you get the idea.

This started to be one of those, David talks about not being able to process anything but has turned into David talks about relationships.

Relationships is probably at the height of mine right now with me rekindling mine with my kids. Also during the past 2 years I was able to have a special time with my Father right before he passed away. Add to this the Internet and I have been in contact with many people from my past. A few from the church I attended as a youth, some from my High School and others from my College. This has included a few close friends, some that were just acquaintances and even several that are past girl friends.

I think the best place to start this is with my Father. At the time I decided to move to Florida he was 87 years old and had several strokes and heart attacks. He had dementia brought on by the stokes. His wife could not care for him and needed some assistance. I was divorced and had just retired early from work due to my back injury. It was a great time for me to go spend some time with my Dad. This was a very hard time with him as he had his good days and his bad. Watching a loved one deteriorate right in front of you is very hard to do. I was able to stay with him for 15 months and am so glad that I had the opportunity to do so. I will always cherish that time as our relationship was enhanced because of the time we shared together.

Now with my children. Over the past eight years mine has been off and on with them due to a few things that I should have controlled better, but did not. So with me being semi-retired, so to speak, I am attempting to spend as much time with my children as possible. This includes talking on the phone and emails when I can not be with them in person. Eventually my back will heal and I will have to go get a job of some sort but right now taking time to develop better relationships with them is very important to me. The best way to do that is to spend quality time with them sharing the life that they are living now. Being able to drive to where they are has been the best experience by far.

Not only have I been doing this with my father and my children but also with people from my past. I have come across people from my childhood, my church as a youth, my high school, college, including ex girlfriends. How is it possible to develop relationships from the past and put them in with your everyday life now. First of all the Internet has made most, if not all, of this possible.Then you have cell phones and text messages that assist with keeping in touch. Now some of these relationships begin anew and others pick up right from where they left off. Some will even stay distanced as they were when we first new each other. Remembering that we are not the same person were were back then is important with these relationships. It is necessary for you to reintroducing yourself. It is actually a pretty interesting and exciting process.

What I want to say concerning relationships though is this. In order to maintain one first of all you have to have been in one. Relationships travel many paths, some continuing lifetimes, others stopping abruptly, some fading away quietly. The important thing to remember is that all people are different. Staying on the same page is not always possible. Adjustments have to be made to maintain a positive relationship. When you put respect, trust, loyalty, and honesty together when developing relationships you are able to have positive relationships that can continue to grow into a lifetime of achievements. After all, it is not what we have done in our lifetime that makes us, it is the influence we have had on others that will be remembered forever.