Obtaining your desires.

When walking I had this thought run through my head and during the 40 minute walk I processed it. It is not enough to try to make things happen or look for any one thing in particular. You must expect what you want to happen and expect what you are looking for to be there for you. On top of that you must see and feel yourself experiencing what you want to happen and want to have. I have come to the realization that this is possible through actually doing this and having it come to be. It is not as simple as it sounds though because we do not always believe that we will and can obtain what we desire. Training the mind to process this way and really believe is the difficult part.

I want to use two scriptures from the Bible that show this is possible. Matthew 21:22 (NIV) says "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Mark 11:24 (NIV) states " Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Now I am not a preacher nor do I claim to have any extra incite than anyone else but I do believe in God's Word. I looked up these verses and read what it was in reference to. Jesus had cursed the fig tree and it withered. The disciples just had a hard time with that. He went on to say that they could do the same or even move a mountain if they had the faith and believed.

The way I see it, here is what I have to do. Pray. How often do I pray for something? Do we have to ask over and over? Once should be enough. As a parent how irritating is it when your child asks over and over for something. I remember telling mine that asking once is enough. God hears us when we ask so now we have to follow through with the other steps. Pretty hard to wait if you ask me but that is part of the process. Faith. Have faith that it is going to happen and that it will be there for you. Believing. I take this believing as living as though what you want is already yours.

Now what happens when what we want is not what is best for us. Well, I prayed for it, I had faith that it was going to be there, and darn it! I believed that I already had it. Here is where being a Christian and trusting God to know best as to what we need comes into play. The way I see it if I do not receive exactly what I ask for I will get something in its place that will be even better than what I wanted in the first place.

This has to do with every aspect of my life. Health, family, relationships, living condition and even wealth and happiness. I have a desire to be whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. I want to be able to take care of myself, dependant on no one. I could state all the problems I have in my life right now but that is not having faith and believing so guess what. I have all these things already. I know that they will be part of my life and all I have to do is expect them to be here. Not on my time but eventually they will be here for me. I see it and feel it and am experiencing it already.

My Trip to Iowa.

Having just returned from Iowa I wanted to talk about my time with my son Tim, his wife Chelsea, and of course my grandson Andy. Tim is growing into such a good person, a great husband to Chelsea, and a fantastic Dad to Andy and to me, he is a super Son. To see him take care of his family, I could not be more proud of him. He considers all the needs of his family and does the best he can to provide from them. He is very good at expressing himself and has focus on where he wants to be. I could not be more proud of him. Tim takes pride in his work as when I went to see one of the places he has been working on, he spoke with excitement, explaining his work. What is really nice to see is that he knows he has room to grow and to continues to learn more and more each and every day.

Chelsea is not just Tim's wife she is a daughter to me. To see her interact with Andy, teaching him and caring for him was a delight. Then to see her excitement with Tim and her concern for him as well. Knowing that she is behind him in all his decisions, working with him as well. She allows Tim to be Tim and that is so important. I know what it is like to not be allowed to be yourself or to adjust yourself to those around that you forget yourself. Adjustment is good but forgetting yourself is not. (I will save that for another post.) I enjoyed so much just talking with Chelsea and sharing thoughts and ideas. We cooked together, walked the mall, played with Andy and just hung out. It was awesome to be with and around her as she is a very special person.
Andy!!!!! What can I say about him. He is the smartest grandson anyone could every have. Ha ha. Every grandparent says that about their grand kids but I really know it!!! He is a delight to be around. Give him a book and he will sit and go through it looking at all he can and telling you about it. (Mommy has read him so many books and he loves to sit with her.) Offer to play ball with him and you will be active for many hours if you want. You want to learn beach Wii then play with Andy. He is very good. To watch him bowl on the Wii is so cute also. When we went to the mall to play at the playground it made me feel so young again as he laughed and played. I could go on and on but I won't bore you with that. I have the videos to watch and will relive those memories until the next time I get to spend with him. Hearing him call me his Papa Wizz was so thrilling and hearing him giggle as he did so was priceless. To get a hug from him as he went to lay down or just seeing him play with his mom or dad was awesome.
I will cherish these memories of Tim, Chelsea and Andy but more than that I look forward to the next time I get to spend with them.

Random things.

I am in Iowa with my son and his family right now. It has been an awesome time spending lots of time with my Grandson Andy. I have had some great talks with my daughter-in-law Chelsea and I have been able to watch Tim interact with his family. This is what I imagined this trip to be like prior to coming and it has been fantastic to see it develop as it has.

There are many things going on in my head right now and I guess it is pretty hard to see where things are headed. I just know that since I had my stroke I have been trying even harder to connect with others. Your mortality comes into question when health problems effect your life. I have seen myself developing in many different ways and at the age I am it seems pretty difficult for others to adjust to my changes. Relationships have been enhanced and others have slacked. I am trying to look at my life as a whole and seeing where I have come from and where I am headed. In doing so I feel I may be changing in the eyes of those that know me. I would say that it is a reality that the changes are occurring but I feel that I have to make changes to what and who I am. For the longest time I always adjusted my self to those I was around. Being what they wanted me to be. When a person does this they lose sight of who they actually are.

I have found my self hesitating again to say and express my thoughts. It has been a month and a half since I last blogged. It felt so refreshing to let my thoughts be expressed in words. Whether anyone reads this or not it makes no difference as I need to share my thoughts, or at least put them down for me. Self expressing is important for everyone and to have your thoughts and ideas put on a back burner is not healthy. If things bother me I try to let it be known but at what cost. I found myself keeping things in and not sharing because I did not want to cause a rift. What that did was cause a rift inside me. Once that rift happened inside me it had a major effect on and in my relationship with others. You have to be able to express your feelings. If you hold them in it tears at your insides and then you start to lose who and what you are.

Over the past month or so I started to attend church again. Its not that I had not gone to church but to actually want to go, that desire was not in me. It is now and I am glad that I have gone. There are areas in my life that need attended to and I am not able to do them on my own. It seems that I have tried in the past to deal with my spirituality on my own and not let God work on me. Or should I say what I had done was to think that I did not need anyone to help me with my spirituality because I could do it on my own. I lost respect for the people of the "church" because I had been let down so much in the past. This made me not want to look to the "church" for help with my spiritual health. What I am trying to do is allow God to use others to help me but not depend on the persons but to depend on God to show me through others. I could care less if the church music is fantastic. It makes no difference if they have a great youth department or the biggest Sunday school. What I need is to be fed with spiritual food that will help me to be what God would have me to be to others but most of all would have me to be to myself. Gods desire is for me to be who I am not what others want me to be. If I become what God wants for myself then I will be what I should be for others. I need to stop adjusting my life to appease others because that tears myself down. I must become what God sees for me so that I can truly be a tool for him. That is what matters, To live your life as other people want you to makes no sense at all. You are torn apart trying to make adjustments all the time. Living your life as Jesus did, sacrificing your self for others and not being selfish, that is how we should live. It is a "me" world right now and way too many people are concerned with only themselves. Sometimes out of self preservation a person needs to take action for himself but to only do things for yourself is wrong.

I guess I have covered a few random thoughts going through my head. This has been refreshing again.