Seeing how the past is used for our present and that of others..

I came to a realization today as I was talking to a friend of mine. Things happen for a reason and it takes a while to understand what is behind it. My senior year in high school I developed a friendship with a neighbor. She was a mother figure and had lots to share with me. I would stop by her house and visit with her almost every day that year when I was not practicing for basketball or baseball. She was able to share with me lots of wisdom and insight that I would not accept from my own mother. I learned so much from those talks and was able to put so much of it in my head, though I may not have realized the reasoning for it.

Now just prior to my graduation, she passed away. She was only 39 if I am not mistaken. It was a tough time for me as no one really knew how close we became during that time. I will always cherish that time of my life. I have looked back at this and knew there was a reason for the relationship and always thought it was because I needed someone besides my own mother to help me through things. Though I have not always followed the path she was able to share with me I have always come back to it. Then it finally hit me.

For some reason God chose to take this angel to be with Him leaving behind a husband and three children. We can not question this as all things are in His control. But why was I allowed to spend so much time with her. I may have found an answer to that. This past year I was blessed to have her daughter reintroduced into my life. I have met her, her husband and daughter and they are a wonderful family. As I was chatting with her she mentioned how much she missed having her mother to talk to when she goes through all the things that families deal with. She and I have had many discussions concerning many subjects and during one of those times it hit me. As she was left with out a mother at a young age, not able to have guidance during those impressionable days, I had many months to take in many of the things her mother would have eventually shared with her, but due to the death, that never happened. Now I am not saying that everything I learned from our talks I remember but I do know that I was shaped into who I am because of some of it. I believe that I am being used now to talk to the daughter and share with her the things her mother would have taught her. God knew He was taking her to be with Him and He knew that somehow somewhere her words would need to get to her daughter.

I am not saying any of this to point to me as being super spiritual or anything, because I do not feel I am. Please do not think that. All I want to get across is that things happen in our lives that we don't understand. Sometime we never get to see or understand the reasoning behind them and sometimes we do. Take what happens in our lives and embrace it. Our plans are not what is important in the major scheme of life. Things happen for reasons beyond our control and if we stay connected and in line with the bigger picture our past will be used to form our future and that of others.

Dying to self.

When you are forgotten or neglected, or purposely set at naught and you don't sting and hurt with insult or the oversight but your heart is happy, being counted worthy for Christ--- THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

When your good is evil spoken of, your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient loving silence, THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

When you lovingly and patiently hear any disorder, and irregularity, or any annoyance when you stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility and endure it as Jesus endured it... THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

When you are content with any food, any offering, and raiment, any climate, any society, any solitude, any interruption by the will of God, THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown. -- THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

When you can see your brother prosper, and have his needs met, and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy nor question God when your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances. -- THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself, and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart.... THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

Are you dead yet? In these days the Spirit would bring us to the cross "that I may know Him... being made conformable unto His death."

Author Unknown

A Prayer for the Middle-Aged

Lord, thou knowest better than I would know myself that I am growing older and that some day I shall be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out every body's affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody, helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all, but thou knowest Lord, that I want a few friends at the end.

Keep my mind free from recital of endless details, give me wings to get at the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing, and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. I dare not ask for grace to enjoy the tales of others pains, but help me to endure with patience.

I dare not ask for improved memory, but for growing humility and a lessening of cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memory of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that, occasionally, I may be mistaken. Keep me reasonably sweet: I do not want to be a saint- some of them are hard to live with- but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil.

Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places, and talents in unexpected people, and give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so.