Communication, it is needed in all relationships or they are doomed to fail. I believe this totally because I have seen it first hand. It is not a matter of just communicating but properly communicating. Saying things properly and in the right context is a necessity when it comes to communicating. Being in the proper mind of course is a must and when you say something making sure it is OK for you to express yourself in that situation.
The expression of, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," comes to mind too. But there are times when getting things out and into the open is mandatory for proper self preservation. If you are communicating properly being able to say things, even if they are not "nice", should be possible. But how easy is it to do that.
For me, at times, I have no problem communicating. Then I start to think about all the consequences of speaking up and speaking out. It has been known to get me into trouble as I tend to speak my mind and it has often caused problems. It has been said that talking about politics and religion are areas to stay away from. Children and family are two others that should be added to this list. I have tried to talk with my ex concerning our children and have learned that this is an impossibility. One way or another it has always come back and bitten me.
I suppose in order to respond to the statement of how hard it is to communicate, you have to look at those involved in the communication. Where are they mentally? What stake do they have in the discussion? Is it going to be or could it be taken "personal"? So much to consider yet there is so much to lose when you do not communicate. I look at my past, seeing what has happened then, and find it is so difficult to come up with a proper way to communicate about some things. I am going to try to work on my communication skills, trying to improve on them as much as I can. It is an ongoing process and working on those skills are every bit as important as communicating itself.
The expression of, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," comes to mind too. But there are times when getting things out and into the open is mandatory for proper self preservation. If you are communicating properly being able to say things, even if they are not "nice", should be possible. But how easy is it to do that.
For me, at times, I have no problem communicating. Then I start to think about all the consequences of speaking up and speaking out. It has been known to get me into trouble as I tend to speak my mind and it has often caused problems. It has been said that talking about politics and religion are areas to stay away from. Children and family are two others that should be added to this list. I have tried to talk with my ex concerning our children and have learned that this is an impossibility. One way or another it has always come back and bitten me.
I suppose in order to respond to the statement of how hard it is to communicate, you have to look at those involved in the communication. Where are they mentally? What stake do they have in the discussion? Is it going to be or could it be taken "personal"? So much to consider yet there is so much to lose when you do not communicate. I look at my past, seeing what has happened then, and find it is so difficult to come up with a proper way to communicate about some things. I am going to try to work on my communication skills, trying to improve on them as much as I can. It is an ongoing process and working on those skills are every bit as important as communicating itself.
1 comment:
You know it hit me when reading the part where you say:
"I suppose in order to respond to the statement of how hard it is to communicate, you have to look at those involved in the communication. Where are they mentally? What stake do they have in the discussion? Is it going to be or could it be taken "personal"? "
I know that Richard is careful when I'm emotional and we are careful when either is having a bad day. It may be easy to talk about something 29 days of the month, but when you hit that one day where I'm emotional or one of us is having a bad day, anything and everything is taken wrong. It can be such a small issue and we get agitated from it. It's just hit at the wrong time. 95% of the time, we are great at communicating. We talk all the time and really get into the issues and deep discussions, but not just that 5% of the time we need to back off and wait. :)
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