My 3rd Back Surgery

Time has come to have my 3rd back surgery, my 2nd fusion. I have had L-5/S-1 fused back in 2007 and knowing that the 3 disk above it were already having issues it was inevitable that I would have to have more surgeries. This time they are fusing L-4/L-5 using a procedure called TLIF- Transforaminal Lumbar Interbody Fusion. I had said may years ago that I did not ever want to have any metal in me and with the first fusion being a Facet Fusion they used cadaver bone to do the fusion. Well, with this there will be rods and pins used so so much for the NO METAL comment. With all the changes and improvements to back surgery I do feel so much better about this type of fusion. I have a great doctor, at least up till now he has a very good reputation and I have the utmost confidence in his abilities.

I would not be having this if it were not for the nerve issues that is being caused by the decompression of my disc. The issues are making it difficult to have full use of my left leg. Limited movement and of course the pain issues. My doctor has been upfront with me from the beginning letting me know that with the issues I have with my back I will never be pain free. This surgery is not really to help with the pain, though it will possible help some of it, but to allow me more freedom of use for my leg. I am good with this.

My lil sis Lisa is here to help me during this first week and I am so glad she is here. Though Lisa is not blood relative she is probably one of my best of friends. She is more than just a friend and better than family if that makes any sense. Really does not matter if it does to anyone but me anyways cause I am just so happy to have her in my life. I do not know what I would do without having her and Todd, her husband, be there through all the many things that have been going on in my life and I know that they feel the same way with all that they have had in theirs as well. Seems as if God knows who to put in your life and when to put them there.

Anyway, I guess I should get me some sleep as 5:45 am gets here pretty quick when it is already 1:00 am. Life is good, God is good, and no matter what troubles and trials you happen to go through there is always a meaning for them and in the end it will turn out as God wills it for us.

Bruce Jenner wants another Gold Medal

Transgender.. being a female in a male body, or male in a female body. Really!!!! Bruce says, if I have heard correctly, that he has had feelings that relate more to a female and over his lifetime this has caused him to question his inner body and wants to make the correction by now living as a woman. Wow... 

What do I believe? Really it makes no difference other than to myself but I like to express my thoughts through my writings. I believe that we all, both male and female have developed ourselves by the influences in our life. We learn and mimic and eventually take over the actions and make them our own. This is natural if you ask me. Now with Mr Jenner I would say that he may have taken the feelings he had and held them in for many a time.. I mean, really, The guy won a gold medal in the 1976 Olympics in the Decathalon. He was a mans man for goodness sake. Ok, as I do not know all about his childhood maybe he took whatever feelings he was having back then and used them to become the athlete he was. You bottle things up, hold them in, and in his determination to be exactly opposite of what he was feeling, became a world class decathlete. Then fast forward to where no one really knows who and what you are. Living among many strong women who are making a name for themselves and back come those feminine thoughts that for so long he had to keep inside. Now it is time for him to take the forefront, start running that decathalon so to speak, and gain that Gold Medal he so desires again.

Now I believe we all at times show feelings that have been contributed towards one gender or another. Men have so called feminine feelings and women have masculine feelings. Lets correct this right off. Men and women have feelings. PERIOD. To categorize feelings and place them to a gender is just wrong. It is also unfair to everyone to justify the categorization of these feelings. Is it right to call a male, young or old, that expresses his "feminine" feelings a sissy? Or when a woman shows that strong masculine side do we call her macho man? NO!!! This is all part of bullying isn't it. Lets take this a step further. To allow the categorization of feelings now, makes us look at many others and say that they should have been a man, or would have made a great woman. Isn't this against what women have been fighting for in wanting to be equal with men since the beginning of the women's liberation era. If a woman has the desire and imagination as well as feelings that she can do all that a man can do in whatever field they excell in do they have to become and live as a man to do it. HELL NO!!!!! As a woman they can do anything and everything that they have been born with, as a woman. The same goes for men too. To say you were born in the wrong body is in my opinion, an insult to mankind. I could find arguments to it in both Biblical and evolutionary thinking, but I am choosing to stay away from that.

Needing to wrap this up I need to dedicate this paragraph to Bruce Jenner.. You can call yourself Caitlyn all you want but you will always be a man, no matter what you do. Somewhere down the line you were told to not have certain feelings because they are attributed to the feminine gender. Yes, you had certain feelings but they were your feelings. Human feelings. Attention is what you have desired because you have become an afterthought. You are now going to get your 2nd Gold Medal. Some courageous person you are to get the Arthur Ashe Courage Award. I know it does not matter to you because you are all about yourself but look at those that deserve this award more than you. Your insecurities and selfishness has put you on top of the sports world. OH MY GOD!!!!! The sports world has gone insane. Guess what is going to happen at the ESPY's, You are going to be up on that podium and people are going to be cheering and standing and hollering your name. The limelight is going to be shining on you so brightly. I wont be watching it though. You, to me, are a disgrace to humankind because you have turned on who you actually are and who you were born to be. Those are things you can not change but you have chosen to try to do so and you are being rewarded for doing it. Congratulations.

Already 3 months into 2015

Has it been that long since I blogged.. Yep. August of last year since my last one. Oh, well, that is how it goes with blogging and where I put my priorities.

Actually saw that a friend (Facebook) was thinking about blogging and led me to check out mine. This one is not going to be long but just need to let a few things get down on print.

Today is the 6th anniversary of the passing of my Dad. I am not sad or anything just thinking about the things he and I did. Playing catch, shooting baskets, small talk, the dinners he took me out on game days in HS. How I could always count on he and my mom always being there to watch me play basketball and baseball.

The time I found out that he was a member of a State Championship HS Basketball team in Nevada. Getting to go out when they honored the team on the 50th anniversary of the event. How driving from Las Vegas to his HS town I learned more about him in that 6 hours than I had in the previous 28 years of my life.

Then getting to learn how much fun it was to go cruising on those big cruise ships with him. Seeing how much fun he tried to have the older he got. Then being able to spend 15 months with him prior to his passing. Taking care of those special needs that no one should have to do but when you would only want someone close to you to be able to help you with. Yep! I miss my Dad but I am not sad, just reminiscing.

On to something else. Tonight I allowed myself to feel my pain. I HATE IT!!!!!! Tried falling asleep and all I could do was feel the pain. It still hurts 3 hours later, (now), but I am starting to get tired enough that maybe I can fall asleep. We shall see after I get done writing this. Next week I move on to a stronger pain medicine. Had to get off the Norco (Hydrocodone) due to the acetaminophen that we believe is messing with my liver enzymes. I sure do hope that it helps. I do have a very high pain tolerance but for some reason it is getting less and less. Maybe it is that I am getting older or just becoming a whimp.. lol. Who knows but I am ready for some relief. 

I have started to work out to strengthen my core muscles. Treadmill, elliptical, and two weight machines. I get sore from that but that is not a bad pain like the other. I can deal with the work out. Two weeks in to it and maybe this is just my body fighting my workouts. I sure do hope so. 

Gloom, despair and agony on me.

GLOOM, DESPAIR AND AGONY ON ME

From the TV Show "Hee-Haw" (1969 -1992)

Buck Owens & Roy Clark

Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Deep, dark depression, excessive misery

If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all

Gloom, despair, and agony on me

With all the talk of depression and such out there lately I felt the need to post something concerning what to do or take when you feel depressed? I take the medication Cymbalta that is used to treat depression but also for Chronic Musculoskeletal Pain. I found this information on the WebMD site. Cymbalta is indicated for the management of chronic musculoskeletal pain. This has been established in studies in patients with chronic low back pain(CLBP) and chronic pain due to osteoarthritis.

Now let me be clear I have not been diagnosed with depression but I will say that I have bouts with it occasionally due to the constant pain that I have.

I found a list of 10 natural depression treatments that are pretty good if you like to do things on your own. Let me say also that there is nothing wrong with having to take medication to help you though whatever you may be going through such as depression and pain. There are things out there that can sure help but I like to do as much as I can to help myself with out the use of drugs.

What I have really found to be the best treatment for me is to have my puppy, well he can considered a dog now, but he is so small that I like calling him my puppy. Gonzo. There are times I get so overwhelmed with the pain that talking to him, petting him or even just playing with him takes the pain away. No, it is still there but I think less of it. With what Robin Williams did due to the depressive state he was in is so sad, and there are many others that have done similar. I find that when I have Gonzo up close to me, whether he be sleeping, playing or just chilling, I am able to relax and feel a little bit better. I could not imagine doing anything to myself having him so close to me. Those of you that have pets know what I am talking about.

10 Natural Depression Treatments

By R. Morgan Griffin

WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Joseph Goldberg, MD

Being depressed can make you feel helpless. You're not. Along with therapy and sometimes medication, there's a lot you can do on your own to fight back. Changing your behavior -- your physical activity, lifestyle, and even your way of thinking -- are all natural depression treatments.

These tips can help you feel better -- starting right now.

1. Get in a routine. If you’re depressed, you need a routine, says Ian Cook, MD. He's a psychiatrist and director of the Depression Research and Clinic Program at UCLA.

Depression can strip away the structure from your life. One day melts into the next. Setting a gentle daily schedule can help you get back on track.

2. Set goals. When you're depressed, you may feel like you can't accomplish anything. That makes you feel worse about yourself. To push back, set daily goals for yourself.

"Start very small," Cook says. "Make your goal something that you can succeed at, like doing the dishes every other day."

As you start to feel better, you can add more challenging daily goals.

3. Exercise. It temporarily boosts feel-good chemicals called endorphins. It may also have long-term benefits for people with depression. Regular exercise seems to encourage the brain to rewire itself in positive ways, Cook says.

How much exercise do you need? You don’t need to run marathons to get a benefit. Just walking a few times a week can help.

4. Eat healthy. There is no magic diet that fixes depression. It's a good idea to watch what you eat, though. If depression tends to make you overeat, getting in control of your eating will help you feel better.

Although nothing is definitive, Cook says there's evidence that foods with omega-3 fatty acids (such as salmon and tuna) and folic acid (such as spinach and avocado) could help ease depression.

5. Get enough sleep. Depression can make it hard to get enough shut-eye, and too little sleep can make depression worse.

What can you do? Start by making some changes to your lifestyle. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Try not to nap. Take all the distractions out of your bedroom -- no computer and no TV. In time, you may find your sleep improves.

6. Take on responsibilities. When you’re depressed, you may want to pull back from life and give up your responsibilities at home and at work. Don't. Staying involved and having daily responsibilities can work as a natural depression treatment. They ground you and give you a sense of accomplishment.

If you're not up to full-time school or work, that’s fine. Think about part-time. If that seems like too much, consider volunteer work.

7. Challenge negative thoughts. In your fight against depression, a lot of the work is mental -- changing how you think. When you're depressed, you leap to the worst possible conclusions.

The next time you're feeling terrible about yourself, use logic as a natural depression treatment. You might feel like no one likes you, but is there real evidence for that? You might feel like the most worthless person on the planet, but is that really likely? It takes practice, but in time you can beat back those negative thoughts before they get out of control.

8. Check with your doctor before using supplements. "There's promising evidence for certain supplements for depression," Cook says. Those include fish oil, folic acid, and SAMe. But more research needs to be done before we'll know for sure. Always check with your doctor before starting any supplement, especially if you’re already taking medications.

9. Do something new. When you’re depressed, you’re in a rut. Push yourself to do something different. Go to a museum. Pick up a used book and read it on a park bench. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Take a language class.

"When we challenge ourselves to do something different, there are chemical changes in the brain," Cook says. "Trying something new alters the levels of [the brain chemical] dopamine, which is associated with pleasure, enjoyment, and learning."

10. Try to have fun. If you’re depressed, make time for things you enjoy. What if nothing seems fun anymore? "That's just a symptom of depression," Cook says. You have to keep trying anyway.

As strange as it might sound, you have to work at having fun. Plan things you used to enjoy, even if they feel like a chore. Keep going to the movies. Keep going out with friends for dinner.

When you're depressed, you can lose the knack for enjoying life, Cook says. You have to relearn how to do it. In time, fun things really will feel fun again.

I hope that this information is and has been helpful to someone out there. Take care and enjoy that dog of yours.

Tony Stewart did NOT kill Kevin Ward Jr.

I have to chime in on this incident in which NASCAR driver Tony Stewart's car hit and killed another driver. First of all let me say that I feel for the family of Kevin Ward Jr. Saying this. I disagree with the family coming out and criticizing Tony Stewart for KILLING their son. Tony Stewart did not kill Kevin Ward Jr. The actions of a young driver getting caught up in the moment let his emotions get the best of him and he recklessly ran out onto a racetrack to make a confrontation and after narrowly getting out of the way of one car stepped into the path of Stewarts car.

Was this Stewarts fault for hitting Ward Jr.? NO!!!! The statement by family members of Ward say that Stewart should have seen him. Maybe he should have but the problem with this is that race drivers are told not to leave your car and go out onto the track. Now there is a rule specifically stating this but even the youngest of drivers would know not to walk out in the way of cars that are racing. Let alone anything that may be racing. Would you think of walking out onto a track where horses are racing before they get to you? Again the answer is NO!!!!

Due to the family of Ward going after Stewart I feel that they are doing an injustice to all of racing. This opens the door for others to attack Kevin Ward Jr. Many things could be said such as, he had a attitude, road rage is probably in his past, he lacked self control, and so forth. I am not saying this but it makes you wonder. What should he have done? That is hard to say as well but doing anything on the track itself is stupid. Yes, I did say it was stupid. Why? Because, look at what happened due to his irrational thinking and walking out to confront a driver. Take it to the pits, after the race, then confront. It happens all the time. Emotions run rampant but common sense needs to take control.

The family of Kevin Ward Jr. is dealing with a terrible event as well as Tony Stewart and all of racing. To point fingers accomplishes nothing because it will not bring back Kevin Ward Jr. In my opinion when all is over and done the fault will fall on one person and he is not here to defend his actions. Actions that are really not defendable. I feel for the family of Kevin Ward Jr. but I also feel for Tony Stewart and what this has caused him to go through.

Over the past year

What in the world is going on with me? It has been forever again since I have put my thoughts down. Now I do not write this really for anyone but me but there are times that I will share a post with someone due to the things they may be going through that are similar to my experiences. I consider myself a Facebook junkie. I am on it no less than one hour a day and I have often shared my thoughts there instead of personally on here.

Over the past year I have been very busy. Last summer with the help of another alumni of Lakeview High School we started an Alumni Association. Wow, what work was that. I built my first web site with the help of Go Daddy and the encouragement of many many alumni. We had a school reunion in Cortland, Ohio during the annual Street Fair. Was it a fun time and we are planning on doing this annually now. Connections with

friends of days gone by and new connections with people I knew but was not friends with. How the years wipe away cliches and we all become one.

I decided to join the rank of homeowner towards the middle to the end of last year. Finding a home on July 2 and moving in to that home at the end of August was a dream come true. No it was not the first home that I purchased but it is the first I purchased totally for me. I truly believe I have found the place where I will live out the rest of my life.

 

Brody became the 6^th  grandchild to come in to my life, born to my daughter Karri Evans. He joined a step brother Gage and sister Isabella. On top of this I now have two grand children living within a mile of me as Cody and Bobbie, my son and daughter-in-law, moved to Dallas, GA bringing Jayden and  Temperance along. They have found a home to rent

and two great jobs. This is the first time I have had any of my kids and grand kids close to me.  

Though I do not get to see Tim or Andy much I am able to stay somewhat in touch with them through Facebook. Andy, my oldest grandchild is getting to be so big and, talk about an athlete! Playing basketball and baseball seem to be his greatest interests and as far as I am concerned can be his only as these are the two sports that I excelled in.

I always seem to get in trouble when I get too personal, specifically my personal relationships, so I will refrain from any talk of this other than saying I do have a person in my life, with her son as well. Life seems to be going pretty well as of this moment. I again continually look forward to what is ahead in my life.  

Two party system of Government.

Recently I have heard talk about having or adding a third party to our Government. This may be just small talk or may be a realistic view of what people want. I want to go on record and say that the two party system is still the best system. Tea Party people should join one or the other but please do not make another party.

Why? Staying with recent American History we can look back at 1992 and see where Perot running as an independent may have cost Bush the election to Clinton. I myself voted for Perot but it was more of a protest vote because I voted in Texas and the reality was Bush was going to win Texas no matter what. Having the third party raised lots of talk, created banter and in some ways did unite our country back then. Now this past election we had the Tea Party enter the equation. Though most Tea Party came out of the Republican Party it hurt the country in that it divided only one party allowing the other party to stay strong and win overall nationwide. Is this the reason Obama won re-election? I can not say for sure but I do believe it helped. What I believe is our country needs and must have is two strong parties. We have two parties but they are not as strong as they need to be. Republicans leadership is mixed due to the Tea Party and this is not all together a bad thing but they need to work together more to strengthen the party. The Democrats, though stronger as one, have a problem with trust starting from the leader, who happens to be our current President.

How does our system work right now. We have two groups that will vote totally one way and only one way, either Democratic or Republican. They for some reason will never vary on their vote. Then we have the swing voters who will do one of three things. Vote for the one they feel that meets the needs they have by listening and researching, sometimes not always correctly but at least they try, or they will vote for the one that sounds the best, (not the best way to vote either), and finally they sometimes choose to not vote at all. This actually gives us a three party system but within the two party platform.

My thoughts on our system of Government is that the United States of America has the best system but we are developing flaws. What is my answer to the flaws? It is a good idea to have your beliefs of either Republican or Democrat but instead of being a party line voter look at the individual and vote your conviction. There are good people on each side of the line but they have to be sought out. Before you cast your vote, listen, research and make a difference. Look at where we are now, we have people in office, all parts of the Government from both parties, that have no business being there. Only we the people can fix this.