Relationships

Have you ever had that moment when you started to put your thoughts down on one subject and then it develops into something totally different. That is what is going on in my mind right now. Most of us have had those times when you start thinking about all that is going on in your life and you just can not get them straight. That is where I am at right now. I don't want to bore you with every little detail as they can cover many areas, such as, life in general, finances, family, relationships, and health. These pretty much cover all the things that go through every persons thought processes every day. Yes, I know that I have left out a few but you get the idea.

This started to be one of those, David talks about not being able to process anything but has turned into David talks about relationships.

Relationships is probably at the height of mine right now with me rekindling mine with my kids. Also during the past 2 years I was able to have a special time with my Father right before he passed away. Add to this the Internet and I have been in contact with many people from my past. A few from the church I attended as a youth, some from my High School and others from my College. This has included a few close friends, some that were just acquaintances and even several that are past girl friends.

I think the best place to start this is with my Father. At the time I decided to move to Florida he was 87 years old and had several strokes and heart attacks. He had dementia brought on by the stokes. His wife could not care for him and needed some assistance. I was divorced and had just retired early from work due to my back injury. It was a great time for me to go spend some time with my Dad. This was a very hard time with him as he had his good days and his bad. Watching a loved one deteriorate right in front of you is very hard to do. I was able to stay with him for 15 months and am so glad that I had the opportunity to do so. I will always cherish that time as our relationship was enhanced because of the time we shared together.

Now with my children. Over the past eight years mine has been off and on with them due to a few things that I should have controlled better, but did not. So with me being semi-retired, so to speak, I am attempting to spend as much time with my children as possible. This includes talking on the phone and emails when I can not be with them in person. Eventually my back will heal and I will have to go get a job of some sort but right now taking time to develop better relationships with them is very important to me. The best way to do that is to spend quality time with them sharing the life that they are living now. Being able to drive to where they are has been the best experience by far.

Not only have I been doing this with my father and my children but also with people from my past. I have come across people from my childhood, my church as a youth, my high school, college, including ex girlfriends. How is it possible to develop relationships from the past and put them in with your everyday life now. First of all the Internet has made most, if not all, of this possible.Then you have cell phones and text messages that assist with keeping in touch. Now some of these relationships begin anew and others pick up right from where they left off. Some will even stay distanced as they were when we first new each other. Remembering that we are not the same person were were back then is important with these relationships. It is necessary for you to reintroducing yourself. It is actually a pretty interesting and exciting process.

What I want to say concerning relationships though is this. In order to maintain one first of all you have to have been in one. Relationships travel many paths, some continuing lifetimes, others stopping abruptly, some fading away quietly. The important thing to remember is that all people are different. Staying on the same page is not always possible. Adjustments have to be made to maintain a positive relationship. When you put respect, trust, loyalty, and honesty together when developing relationships you are able to have positive relationships that can continue to grow into a lifetime of achievements. After all, it is not what we have done in our lifetime that makes us, it is the influence we have had on others that will be remembered forever.

The changing of Family priorities

I started blogging almost two years ago and over this past summer I stopped. A very good friend of mine suggested I start again to keep my mind busy while I am not able to work. Often I am able to come up with ideas that just seem to pop into my head, due mostly to current events, but also from conversations with others. Anyways, I sent out a mass email to the 20 or so contacts in my email address account, (I know, not too many contacts there David), telling them about my blog. I received a reply from a cousin of mine and in it I thought about how out of touch we get with family once we get older.

Do you recall when you were younger and you would go visit your parents family, Grand Parents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins? You always looked forward to that week or two vacation during the summer or Christmas when you got together and did whatever you did. It was always a fun time for me and I will always remember those times. We would travel from Amarillo, TX to Frederick, OK or to Oklahoma City, OK and visit with all the family that could make it in. Aunts and Uncles would come in from Nebraska or Tennessee, others would come from where ever they were living and you got together and did the family things. I know we all remember those times and often we think back to those times wondering where they went. You often think, why did it stop? What was the change and where are those relationships now. For some people those relationships have continued but are they as strong as they were back then?

My answer to those questions are really pretty simple. We grow up and transfer what we did as a child on to the next generation. Instead of us being the kids, we are now the Aunts and Uncles. This lasts for a while as our parents are now the Grand Parents and the family comes to visit them. Instead of playing and running around, doing the things you did as a child you are now one of the adults. You sit and talk about work, your plans for the future, your hopes for your children. The secret discussions you have with only certain members of the family concerning what we are going to do when this happens or when that happens. This continues until your children start to become young adults. At that time you may go to a wedding here or a wedding there, but you see those early family members less and less, to where you may never see them again. Often times the only way you get together with them is at a funeral.

Finally, you are now at the point when you are the Grand Parent. You look in the mirror and you are not that young kid playing with your cousins. Thankfully I am still young enough to be in the second category, but now that I have grand kids I am slowly moving away from that. With both my parents having passed on there will not be those times when you take the kids to see Grandpa or Grandma. You won't be visiting as much with your brothers or sisters and their kids.


Priorities change with the passing of time. Life moves on whether we are ready for it or not. Take the time to leave a note, email, or phone call to someone in your family from your past. Though they are not a constant in your life they were at one time. Our family is our heritage and once we lose part of our family a small part of us goes with them. Do this not only with family but friends you have had over the years. You never know what it will do for you or for them.