This is a pretty interesting and complex question if you ask me. In order to clarify we have to ask what would be considered an ex. For this I will use ex spouse or ex boyfriend/girlfriend. There are many factors that come into play when considering the ability to maintain a friendship after a relationship has ended. One is how did the relationship end, another is are there children involved and how about mutual friends, and for the purpose of this I will add parents or a parent of one that has become a good friend of the non child.
Let me start with a simple one, children. Oh you laugh at this and actually I do too when saying simple. This would be the most complex actually but with that being said it is the most simple. You are either going to work together or you are not. Personalities of each will have the greatest impact on the ability to either get along or not. Short and simple with my kids mother it took over ten years before I could even stand to be in the same room with her. Talking on the phone was almost an impossible feat. Now that our kids are older and we have grandchildren it is now possible for us to tolerate each other.
I will combine mutual friends and non parents in this area. Basically here mutual friends will most likely follow the one they were friends with in the beginning. If you actually met as a couple then it may be a bit more difficult but the answer would be who are the friends closer to, making the decision on its own. If you are to keep the other out of any conversations you may maintain a joint friendship and there is even the possibility that you can share time together with the friends. This all depends on how the relationship ended. Now concerning parents of the ex. Easy answer is the parent will always migrate towards the child and if the end of the relationship was awkward or there were bad feelings and such you can count on not getting along with your ex. The relationship with the exes parent will most likely end soon but again much goes into the decision. There is a slight possibility that a mutual friendship can be maintained.
Now the final area is how the relationship ends. Simple enough if there is abuse and or mistrust you will most likely not be able to continue with the friendship afterwards. Mutual agreements to split can go either way. I would suggest that if there is a chance to reconcile the relationship you may stay in a friendship. If there is no way and you are both in agreement you may stay friends but there will be a time when you want to move on towards another relationship so the ex will have to slowly disappear from your life.
So let me answer the question as to if it is possible to stay friends with an ex? I have exes that I am friends with and some that I am no longer friends with. The ones that I am no longer friends with out number the ones that I am able to maintain or rebuild a friendship with. In my opinion the best way to move on is to try not to maintain the friendship unless there are children involved. With children you must try even harder to overlook the past and keep things reasonable to maintain a way of getting along. More power to you if you are able to keep up a friendship with an ex on its own with no baggage to go along with it. If at all possible I will attempt to stay friends with the family members of an ex but over time it may end. For myself, feelings toward the other could interfere with any relationship I may want to start if I keep holding on to a friendship with the ex. Many things go into the decision if there is a possibility to maintain it but overall I would say, end it and move on.
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