One of his best weekends.

Several months ago I attempted to set up a get together with my kids. At first it did not look as if it was going to happen. The finally everything started to fall into place. The weekend of December 10- 12, 2010 will go down as one of my best weekends of all time.

OK, you are asking what happened that made is so memorable! Absolutely nothing and everything happened to make it that way. How does that work out? Well, you put together a group of people, family, and just let things happen and go from there. There was talking, eating, napping, playing, children crying, laughing and you name it happening. All these and so much more happened making this a remarkably memorable weekend.

The last time I was able to be with my sons and daughter was when my Father passed away back in March of 2008. It had been at my oldest son Tim's wedding several years prior to that when we were last together. With those times not being the best at really getting together you can saw we were long overdue for quality time together.

I was able to get the use of a cabin in North Georgia and getting together with my Daughter-in-law we set up a weekend. Calls were made and discussions took place and it was all set up. Finally we were going to all get together. My son Tim with Andy (my 5 year old grandson), my son Cody and Bobbie Gene with their son Jayden (2 plus year old grandson), and Karri my daughter, with her boyfriend Kevin, all made plans to attend. The weekend was upon us and on Friday December 10Th the amazing weekend started.

Tim and I arrived first with Tim becoming the fire builder. He started and maintained the fireplace and the fire pit out side that we all enjoyed. I started to decorate the place for Christmas waiting for my daughter to get there so she could help put a woman's touch to the decorations. She arrived with Kevin around 5pm and together we finished decorating the place. I was so glad to have her help as she definitely made a difference. Dinner was at David's Pizza Place. For those of you who are not aware of this place it is my own home made pizza. I get all the ingredients together and hand toss some dough into the pizza pie and we load them up with whatever we want on it. My favorites are cheese, pepperoni, onions, green peppers and mushrooms. We also made one with just pepperoni and cheese for Karri. All evening we sat talking, enjoying the scenery and warming up to the fire waiting on Cody, Bobbie Gene and Jayden to arrive. They Finally got in around 10:30 that evening. Needless to say we stayed up a little later than normal but we enjoyed every minute.

Morning came and it was coffee time. The smell of coffee brewing and sitting down with Andy watching morning cartoons. You just can not get a time any better than that. As the others started to wake I put on some bacon, maple cured, and the aroma filled the cabin encouraging the others to get up and out of bed. Then I started the eggs, scrambled with onions, green peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes and fresh garlic. Yum!!! Of course I made some generic boring scrambled eggs as well. Keeping with the topic of food, Kevin volunteered his chili for dinner that evening. It was one of the best that I have had and of course I now have the recipe and am looking forward to trying my hand at it as well. One part of the weekend that made it special was everyone sitting down and eating together. Whether it was breakfast or dinner we sat and enjoyed the time talking about whatever came to mind.

I was able to take my two daughters out to Blue Ridge, GA on Saturday. We walked up and down the main street checking out all the specialty stores and just having a great time. Even though it was cold and my back started hurting it was another of the enjoyable times of the weekend. Cody and I were able to go back in the afternoon and spend some quality time walking the stores as well. Tim and I were able to drive together from Atlanta to the cabin and we went 4 wheeling together so I had my quality time with him as well. I have to admit though the best time was sitting on the couch with Andy watching cartoons. He snuggles up close resting next to me and when he wants my attention goes, "Hey Papa Wizz...." Seems like I will never get rid of that Wizz nickname. I have had it since high school. Though Jayden and I did not sit much or hang out we did get to have some fun together. He is learning who his Papa Wizz is and over the weekend warmed up to me more and more. Cody quickly became the king of the Foosball table beating everyone in sight. It did not matter who he was teamed with or who he played he was winning. Well, that was until Tim and I teamed up and beat him and Kevin two games to none. Relaxing, playing games, riding 4 wheelers, eating, warming to the fire, sitting in the hot tub, no matter what we did we were able to get close having a great time.

An interesting thing happened Saturday afternoon while we were hanging out. Karri was outside on the porch visiting, I was sitting on the couch, others were just doing whatever. My cell phone rang and up popped Karri's picture. I did not pay attention to the number, just the picture and answered with "What you doing Karebear?" Well to my surprise it was not my Karebear. If I had looked closer to the actual number I would have seen it was her Mom's number. I have that under Karri because she is often over there and I will have to call there to talk to here. Anyways, Teresa was on the line and she told me how glad she was that all of us were together having a great time. As we talked she mentioned that it was really hard on her knowing that Andy was only 5 hours away and that she was not going to be able to see him. It has also been over a year since she had seen him and was going to be longer still. I think you may know where this is going so I will go ahead and tell you. I invited her to come on down to see all of them together. She pretty much immediately left and drove down arriving after midnight. There is a time in your life when no matter what has happened or what your history is with someone you do have to get along. What better time than Christmas!!!

All day Sunday was so relaxing and enjoyable, well for the most part. We had breakfast together, I fixed more bacon and Karri made French toast with cinnamon. One of those things we did when she was smaller and we will always remember doing together. There were times when we were all in the same area and times when we spread out in different areas of the cabin. It did not matter as we went around visiting, sharing and just being together. It was cold out and after having rained some it started to sleet. Then the snow began to fall. Not much snow but enough to make for an interesting time later in the day. When you combine below freezing temperatures with rain and put snow on top you get some very slippery roads. As most everyone needed to get back to their respected homes on Monday the decision was made to leave Sunday evening. Tim and I were going to be the last to leave. The others packed up, good-byes were said and off they went. About 15 minutes later Tim got a call from Cody and, as we were up on a mountain, with winding up and down roads, that were now ice covered, you can guess what happened. Two of the cars could not make it up one of the inclines. So Tim and I drove to find them and after a short time decided to get everyone back to the cabin, believing we were going to have to stay the night. Good thing we had food still. After some time I remembered that there was a back way down the mountain. Tim and I got out the four wheelers and decided to drive it and see what it looked like. Luckily this back way was dirt or gravel road so we all made the choice to try and drive out that way. We did make it to the highway safely and started our trek home. All the excitement was not over with though. Teresa's van developed a cracked radiator so her and Cody had to stop for the night near the Tennessee border. Karri and Kevin continued on but it took them over 12 hours to make the 5 hour drive as the snow was worse up in Kentucky making for slow driving conditions. Cody and Teresa eventually got her van to a shop to be fixed and they did make it back to Kentucky. Tim and I did not have any problems making it back to Atlanta but Tim decided to get just a few hours sleep and take off at 2am to head back to Texas.

The important thing though with all this "difficulty", it did not dampen the spirit of the weekend. Nothing was able to take away the joy we all shared from spending time together. My prayer for everyone this Christmas season is that you will have the best time you can with your families. Remembering of course that Jesus is the reason for the season and sharing the love He has for us with others is what we should always be willing to do.

Caring for loved ones as a caregiver or other family member.

Having to care for a parent can be very rewarding and also very difficult all in the same motion. I was blessed with the opportunity to assist with taking care of my Dad and helping in making his everyday life more comfortable for a period of 15 months. There were ups and downs the whole way but as I have told others I would not change what I did for anything.

Everyday I was able to see that he was mentally digressing along with his physical abilities. Dementia is something you really can not explain but to watch it work on someone is very difficult. The same can be said for someone experiencing Alzheimer’s. Patience is something that you must have in order to assist with a person because each and every minute can be a trying experience. To have someone say one minute that they want one thing or need to do something then within seconds question what they are doing or contradict what they just said. You know that there is a need so you have to listen and watch to understand what is really needed. I saw the frustration on my Dad but to try to explain to him what was going on seemed only to make it worse.

On top of this there is the physical limitations that come with age and health problems. His struggled to get him self up and walk. To not be able to care for his everyday needs without assistance was a strain for him as well. He knew that he needed help but was frustrated at his inability to care for himself. We attempt to care for these physical needs and then we had to see what was happening emotionally to him and react and care for those needs as well. The stress builds tremendously and is so exhausting.

It has been three years since I assisted with taking care of my father but I still am reminded and relive those times when I talk to friends that have or are going through similar times with a parent or loved one. I have talked to a few that had no help from siblings for one reason or another and know exactly what they are going through. Excuses were abundant as to why they could not assist and often it was denial on the part of the sibling. Children have a hard time seeing a parent get to a point that they are unable to care for themselves. Then once the parent passes on anger is generated that they attack the one that cared for the parent. My opinion is that guilt is truly what is behind the anger. They deny the illness and then once the illness has run its course they often look for someone to blame for the death. Then as they get all of this out of their system eventually they are forced to look at their lack of attention to the loved one, then they feel extremely guilty and seek to punish others to take the emphasis off of themselves. I had two sisters that had very busy lives and could not assist with the care of my father. One of them would have if she were able, the other lived in the world of denial. The one thing I am thankful for is that I never was openly attacked by either of my sisters. If they did it was never brought to my attention and I do not feel that they did that either.

Why have I brought all this up two and a half years after my fathers passing. Because I see others going through similar experiences. If you are one that is caring or has cared for a loved one remember the time that you were able to spend with them. You can never get that time back and you will be able to look back at it as some of the most wonderful times that you had with them. If you have siblings that are not involved try to get them involved but remember they may be in denial. If so you may not be able to wake them to reality so be prepared for anything that may come, hopefully they will not attack you, but appreciate you for taking your time to care for the parent. If they are not in denial but can not assist, talk to them and let them know what is going on in every aspect so that hard feeling will not come from your experience. Our lives are too short to allow these things to disrupt our families. If you are a family member unable to help your loved one take the time to encourage the one that is. It is also important that you take the time to listen to the caregiver because they just may know more of what is going on than you do. Hearing what is said prior to the death can displace any misunderstandings that come afterwards. But you need to really listen and not force your opinions as to what you think should be done as you are not there on a daily basis. Most of all though encouragement is what is needed by the caregiver. If at all possible take a week to care for the family member so that you can experience what the caregiver goes through, but remember it may not be as bad during your time with them because changes help the one with dementia and Alzheimer snap into reality.

What is right there before us.

It's not what He isn't giving but what he is giving. We can get so locked onto what we don't have, what we think we want or need, that we miss the gifts God is giving.

I read this today and it made me sit and think, so now I need to talk about it. How many times have I been so emphatic on what I think I want or need that it consumes my every day? I want to think that I do not do it often but I know that I do let it happen. I pray Lord let this happen or let that happen, give me this or give me that. Please allow this to come into my life or remove this other thing that is really bothering me. Do I become so consumed by it that I do not see what is right there before me?

Learning to be happy or content with where I am in life has been so uplifting. I have found that I do not allow worry to get in my way. Yes, it still happens but I find it easier to move on and do not dwell on it as much.
Over the past year I have been given so much with out even asking for it. Well, I can not say I didn't really ask for it because I have asked God to take care of me in and through all situations. He has given me a nice place to live, friends that keep me grounded, an income to satisfy my daily needs, and family. What more does a person really need?
So I guess what is on my mind is, are there things that have been given to me that I have missed because I was looking for something else? I am sure the answer to that is yes. I would like to be the type of person that looks at what he has and is thankful for it, not looking for the next thing out there. Being open to the gifts that appear each and every moment and enjoying them. It is like taking time to look up at the sky when it is raining and instead of saying, Please let it stop raining!, but seeing the rainbow that is up there, reminding us of the promises that God made. We are given so much, with out even asking for it, but we don't take the time to accept and enjoy them. How many times have we missed them all together? I do not even want to think of that because I am sure it is more than I want to know.
Help me to not be one to complain about what I do not have but look for and be thankful for all that I do have right before me. I want to be able to say that I have not missed out on God's gifts because I was asking for things I really did not want or need. He is so good to us, even more than we realize.

Forgiveness

You may read this and think that it is a sermon. It may be but I am preaching to myself. It is not intended to shame anyone else or point a finger. It is what I need to learn and do over and over; It is my way of keeping me in the place I need to be and doing the right things.

Forgiveness.

This has to be one of the hardest things to do. Someone has said or done something to you or against you and now you have to forgive them, or do you? Well, lets say they realized what they did and have come to you and asked forgiveness. What do I do? I was really pissed and wanted to just rip them apart and now they have come to me and asked me to forgive them.

Matthew 18: 21-22

21 Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone* who sins against me? Seven times?"

22 "No!" Jesus replied, "seventy times seven!

If I use the Biblical standard as shown from the verses above I am required to forgive over and over. Boy, this is hard to do but I need to, No! I must do it. I have been forgiven for things that I have done, when I have asked forgiveness, and even when I have not asked for forgiveness. I am sure there is someone out there that has forgiven me and I do not even know it.

What happens if I chose not to forgive someone that has wronged me? Specially when I have been forgiven for something similar.

Matthew 18: 31-35

31 "When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him what had happened.

32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, `You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me.

33 Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?'

34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison until he had paid every penny.

35 "That's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters* in your heart."

I hope that if I have done something to someone and asked forgiveness that I would be able to forgive someone who has done that same or similar thing to me. My take on this is if I fail to forgive then the forgiveness I have begged for will not be forgiven and I will be required to pay for it. Wow, the consequences are pretty harsh.

What I need to do is forgive if I want to be forgiven. Not just from others but forgiven by my heavenly Father. I know that I have plenty to be forgiven for and I want that forgiveness so no matter the wrong that has been done to me I must not refuse to forgive also.

Matthew 6:14-15

14 "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.

15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

No one is perfect. We all have our faults and I will admit I have my share. If I were to offend someone, I would hope that I would be made aware of what I did and that they would forgive me. With that expectation I must also be willing to do the same for others.

Colossians 3:13

13 You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

I recall the times in my past that I have been so mad and upset with others that I wanted to strike back at them and hurt them. Wanting to say things to discredit them and who knows what else. Talk about being bitter. They say that bitterness is a hard pill to swallow. I have to agree with that and my hope is that I can refrain from becoming bitter towards others for anything they may have done to me.

Ephesians 4: 31-32

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior.

32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

What are my thoughts on forgiveness? First I want to be forgiven by God for all the sins that I have committed. I have asked for that forgiveness and believe that He has done so. Next there are those out there that I have wronged in some way. I want to be forgiven by them and I pray that they will do so. Then to make sure that I can be forgiven I need to forgive any and all that have wronged me, no matter the wrong. Even if they have not come to me and asked I must forgive. My prayer is that I do forgive, not holding anything against anyone else, keeping my mouth, and writing under control, to not harm another in any way. I want to have the kind of spirit that God would have for me.

Where am I

Over the past few weeks I have had some interesting questions put before me. They include, Who am I?, What do I possess that I am to offer to the world? and Where is my place? I find that these are very good questions and I need to examine them every day to get a glimpse of myself. Last night another question was put before me and it really got me to thinking. The question was Where am I? This is a really good question and I don't think there is an easy answer to it.

Where am I? I sat for a bit and thought about the question. Here is what popped into my head. Life is like driving down a four lane road. You position yourself in the safest part of the road and move ahead. Others are moving along with you, either in front of you or behind you, and some are right next to you. At times some will pass you by or you will pass them by. Then you see the yellow line that divides the road and see others traveling along, headed in the other direction. I am driving along, sometimes slowly checking out the scenery and seeing what is out there. There have been times I have stopped and gone backwards but most of the time I keep on moving ahead. At times I have found myself traveling 120 miles an hour wanting to get to the next place, all the while having to be careful of all that is around me, other traffic, people walking, road construction.

How do I respond to the outside forces? Do I actually respond to them or do I react. Do I swerve, do I speed up, do I slow down? What effect does that have on those traveling along with me? Am I putting myself in harms way by getting too close to the center stripe, or possibly do I cross over into the oncoming traffic? So much to think about.

I believe that I am where I am supposed to be but I find it hard to stay there. Reacting to the outside forces in ways that take me off the path I need to be on. Over my lifetime I have bumped into other traffic moving along with me. I could not tell you how many times I have nearly ran into someone in front of me and then there are the times when I have slowed down and have been hit from behind. Then the times when my reaction was so bad that I crossed that center stripe. looking ahead and seeing an accident fixing to happen. There were times when I caught myself and moved back into my proper lane. Sadly there are times when I moved across and side swiped someone and being honest I would have to say I even went head on and totally wrecked myself and others.

Staying where I am and maintaining the proper place is the biggest challenge that I have right now. I need to discover ways to keep myself grounded so that I respond correctly and not over react to what is happening. Understanding that there will be times when I fail but making sure that instead of having that accident that causes pain and heart ache, I find a way to correct and get back on the right path.

Getting his legs back.

I have been pretty busy lately and it has really been going well. It is nice to have things going well, isn't it? I have been reading several books that would be considered self-help books. They always make me sit and think about what I am doing and where I am at and how things are going.

The first book that I read is called "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge. What I got most from this is that men have dreams that they developed during childhood, but for some reason a lot of us have been wounded during our life causing us to lose those dreams and we are never fulfilled. Our legs get chopped off, so to speak, and most of us never get them back. This book helps you to discover the wounds and heal them allowing you to get your dreams back and move on. Of course this is the simplified version as it takes more than just reading to get back to where we need to be.. Thing is I am working on it and it is refreshing.

I also reread a second book called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. This book talks about using the law of attraction to better your life. Releasing the negative thoughts and putting positive thoughts in our mind to attract the positive things that we want in our lives. Again, this is simplified but it really has a lot of good things to consider in order to change your life and make it what you want it to be. I am following up the reading of this book with a book titled "There is More to the Secret" by Ed Gunger who puts a more Christian side to the Secret. I am finding this very interesting and actually pretty helpful reading. I guess what is helping me is that I am putting more positive thoughts in my head and trying to direct my ways to what are good. I know the bad things are still out there and I can learn from them also in developing my life but to concentrate on and bring the positive things that I want into my thought patterns is helping me to be happier.

A few other things that I have done is to join a few journey groups. These are associated with my church. One is a all men group and we are able to hear a short talk that is designed to get us thinking about where we have been and where we want to be, developing us into the men that we should be. Then we get a chance to air out what is on our mind. We don't try to help each other during this. We are able to sit and listen or tell our story, helping us to band together. That way we know that we are not alone in our situations. Knowing that I am not the only one going through these things is very helpful. The second group is a singles group filled with people, men and women, that are single and of or about the same age as I am. This was a hard group for me to find but I am so glad I did. Being around others that have gone through divorce and so forth is pretty good because again, we share a lot of the same stories. We don't discuss our past but we have a study that we are following and as we are mostly going through or have gone through similar stories we have similar insight as to what the study is about. It is really a nice group to be part of specially when you don't have to worry about trying to hook up with anyone. Now I am sure some do hook up but that is not the reason for the group. We get to hear different thoughts from both sides or in some cases multiple sides. Its pretty refreshing actually.

My thoughts right now are pretty excited actually. I am looking forward to seeing where I am in a couple of months or in the next year. Seeing if I have gotten my legs back, becoming the man that I can be. Knowing that I can do this while hearing from and about others, developing my way from and through the help of others, not depending on myself alone to get through life. Of course knowing that God is right there all the time guiding my path as I go along.

being able to do all things.

Philippians 4:13 (New American Standard Bible)

I can do all things through Him (Christ) who strengthens me.

How many times have you seen this verse used as a favorite verse or a life's verse? Maybe it is your favorite verse during trying or difficult times. I have seen it used so many times I could not even count. But to what extent do we really believe this. Sure, we go through difficult times or look at tasks that we have been assigned and we say... "I can do all things", but do we really think it can be done.

I am sitting here watching the Star Wars Trilogy, (the original episodes IV, V, and VI), as Luke is going through his training with Yoda and his faith is so shallow. Yoda tells Luke he must feel the "force" around you and Luke states ... "you want the impossible". Then Yoda proceeds to lift the ship out of the swamp. What does Luke then say. " I don't believe it." Yoda's response, "That is why you fail." Luke tried and failed at doing it himself and became discouraged. He has seen the "force" work but for some reason he just can not commit himself to really believing it is there for him to use.

How many times do we fail when things get tough, or seem impossible? Though we use that verse (Philippians 4:13) we still do not believe it. Our faith becomes shallow. Not that we want to raise a car out of a swamp or move some other object. But we have things that come before us that are a challenge and are impossible to do on our own. We should believe that if Christ is with us and if there is any way possible for us to lift a car, stack some rocks, or whatever, that we will be able to do it.

Just as the "force" is in all objects, plants, animals and all around us so is our God. Now I know I am not exactly where I should be with my walk with God but I am trying to understand where I do need to be. I will fail and mess up, losing some of my belief at times, but I am going to keep on trying and moving forward. What we need to do with this verse is remember what follows I can do all things.... it is... through Christ, who strengthens me.

On my own there is nothing I can do. Sure I get up every day and do all sorts of things. Am I doing these on my own or is there a power out there helping me to do whatever. I have to believe that there is a God, Christ Jesus, who is allowing me to do anything and everything. Even those things that on the outside look impossible. I get down on myself lots of times when things don't go as I expect. Sometimes I try to do things that seem impossible and fail. We all do this but what we need to realize is that sometimes we just are not meant to do things at this precise moment. Maybe we need help from others or the time is just not right. It is all a matter of remembering who is really in charge of our daily lives. It is not us.

What am I trying to say in all this? I guess it is that no matter where we are in our lives we have a "force", (Christ), that is right there with us and if we depend on Him and on His strength to strengthen us we can do all things. We have heard the phrase, Let go and let God. I take letting go as realizing that I am not in charge of any situation so I need to let go of each and every one and stop trying to make things happen the way I want them to. Therefore I have to let God have His will and way in each and every situation because it is going to happen His way no matter what.

Being Consistent

We always talk about being consistent in our daily lives or at least we think about it and try to be, but why do we want to be consistent? I think that we have consistency on our minds because all too often we come across those around us that are not consistent. Actually how many times have we looked at our self and saw inconsistencies in us. I know over the past I have been up and down showing a few sides of being inconsistent that would even be construed as somewhat crazy or even psycho.

How often do we see that in others and ourselves!!! How often have we needed someone to be consistent in our lives and they have not been!!! It can be very frustrating. So often we go through our own times of ups and downs and those that are close to us stop being consistent with us and it really makes things difficult. Our insecurities become enhanced and we feel that we are all alone. You slow down your growth process making moving forward take even longer. You tend to make rash decisions not considering all the consequences.

So what am I getting at? I believe that it is very important to stay consistent in all steps of our lives. Having an open communication with your family and closest friends is a must and as you talk about things make sure that you remain consistent with what you say and do. If you are in agreement as to how you want to see things progress, (not necessarily knowing how they will end) try to stay consistent with what you say and do. I will back this up with the life of Jesus. Now I know He already knew the outcome of His life though His followers did not. But what was so important is that He was consistent all the way to the end, giving us an example to try to follow after.

I know that I will go through times of being inconsistent and for that I apologize. But I want others to know that I will do my best to be as consistent as possible. It is not only important for my friends and family but for me as well. I want to remind myself to be consistent. I am going to try to be consistent for my friends and family. Someone that is dependable and true. Yes, I know that there will be times when I will fail and show some signs of inconsistency, but in the end I would like for others to say that no matter what he was consistent for the most part. I can not ask for any more than that.

"The Greatest Generation"

I just finished reading a very good book written by Tom Brokaw. The book was published back in 1998 so it has been around a while. It is called "The Greatest Generation" and tells the stories of veterans and others that grew up during the "Great Depression" and World War II. How they matured during trying times and the effect it had on them, forcing them to make great strides through many trials. It tells of the accomplishments they made to help better the world and specially the United States. Truly they were a great generation.

So why do I "talk" about this in my blog. As I was reading the many stories I became touched and humbled by the things that were accomplished by a large group of people having gone through many horrifying experiences and very trying times. At one point I became upset at how we now believe we are so entitled to things that we have not really earned. Others have earned what we are now enjoying so how can we say that we deserve this or that and expect it to be given to us. Have we become a selfish country and people?

To answer that truthfully I would say that we have but if I really think about it I need to clarify this answer. Over the years we as a people have created the notion that we are entitled to many many things. Instant gratification has become the norm and if one person gets it why can not I get it. Opportunities have come about for each and everyone of us to make something out of ourselves so that we can get just about anything we want. There are those out there still that do not want to work for anything and expect many things to be just given to them, but is that the norm? Yes there are some parents out there that have given to their kids because they can, and these children in turn keep expecting. Yes, our government has given so much to many people that even more believe the government should continue to give and give. The attitude to many has become, "They got it so why shouldn't I." We have seen this over and over by the media telling us this again and again. There are groups out there that expect large contracts just because, special treatment because, its one thing after another. We hear about it all the time and every day. This makes it so easy to say, "Yes we have become a selfish people".

Guess what? I really do not believe we are selfish as a whole. Each and every day there is someone out there trying to make the best of the situation. They are not taking all they can but are giving. There are organizations out there that are helping and doing for others all the time. Not everyone is out there doing a job for just the money. They truly believe that what they are doing is going to help others. We all have a selfish side but if we look down deep there is a part of us that wants to do for others no matter the cost. Athletes with those huge contracts do give back to the communities. Actors find ways to generate funds and help the needs of many special groups. Large corporations donate time and money to make the cities and towns they are in better places. Local organizations and churches have so many people who volunteer time, money and effort to make a difference in communities.

We hear so many negative things in the press but there is so much positive going on that is not publicized. After all, do those that do good for others go out and publicly announce it. Not really. Yes, some do and that is ok, but if the truth be told, those that are doing the good things really don't want to let it be known of their involvement. There are so many of us that give to our communities but we don't need it advertised. Personal pride and knowing that we have helped others without recognition is enough for many people.

Yes, Tom, you wrote about what you perceived to be the greatest of generations but I want to say that each and every generation has its share of great accomplishments. Each generation since the beginning of our great country has had its share of people who have done something spectacular to make it better for the next generation that comes along. Since history has a tendency to repeat itself I know that the generations that follow will do the same for generations that come after them. With each and every passing day all of us go through trials and triumphs that will cause us to better ourselves and want to better those around us.

Rediscovering yourself.

I have been hearing a lot lately about having to rediscover yourself due to various reasons. The most common is from a relationship, such as a marriage or friendship. It is so easy to get caught up in what you are doing, believing that you are working together with someone to get to a greater place in your life and discover that your perception has been way off the mark. You find out that what you felt was important and meaningful was not reality. Those that you were working or relating with did not see you the way you saw yourself in the process.

That discovery can really be embarrassing, hurtful and even depressing. To discover that you are not as important as you believed you were to a situation or relationship. In my own life I have discovered this more than just once. I have lost myself in several relationships and situations where I have put "me" on the back burner believing that the end results would outweigh to loss of myself. In your mind you believe that this is the correct thing to do because in the end the situation will be fantastic for all those involved. Only to discover that during the process somehow "we" got left out. How many times do we have this happen to us? If we all were to examine our lives we would say that this has happened to us in some form during our lifetime. How do we go about rediscovering ourselves?

I think about rediscovery and try to figure out if I have done that. Do I know who I am and what I am capable of? I believe it takes being in and around people who really know what you are made of. Those that understand your capabilities and do not hesitate to give you encouragement. Everyone needs to be acknowledged for whatever they have given to a relationship or situation. In reality though each and everyone of us need to know that we are capable of independently moving through life, making decisions and finding direction on our own. To discover that "me" as a whole can do and prosper in all of life's situations.

Over the past 10 months I have been rediscovering myself. I have become independent, having to make all kinds of decisions such as where to live, what to do with my time, evaluating relationships and many more. I have had friends encourage me and others that have limited me. It has been enjoyable being able to be around others and share life's lessons, teaching them while at the same time listening to them and learning from the experiences they have gone through. To rediscover yourself through sharing yourself with others has been an exciting process. The most important part of the rediscovery process though is knowing that I do not have to fall back into the same grind and lose myself to anyone or anything again.